Ok, so this is me being perfectly, bluntly honest about my weight and my goals. I’m terrified to put this out there, even though I’m not even sure people are reading.
I am 5’6″ tall.
My senior year in high school, after playing four years of varsity lacrosse, I weighed 135 pounds, and thought I could lose another 5.
When I graduated from college, even after having to use my two feet as transportation all over my Queens campus, to catch buses and trains, and being a vegan for a year, I weighed about 140. But it had redistributed, and I recall not having a problem baring my midriff, but still insecure about thighs.
When I quit my job in NYC to move to Texas, I’d been living on my own for a while, and had succumbed to eating out for many meals. When I realized that I needed to stop (at 165), not only to save money for the move, but for weight loss, I worked hard at making my own meals, but I still didn’t care that much about nutrition. I also worked hard at a second job at Whole Foods Market where I got discounts on good food. Nevertheless, I think I weighed 155 when I landed at DFW.
My weight bounced around a bit, but having to drive everywhere didn’t help because I didn’t know how to incorporate exercise into my life. I was diagnosed with hypothyroidism, and I truly hoped that taking my meds would help me lose weight. They didn’t. When I got married at the end of 2006, I weighed 170.
My weight continued to bounce around, and I even tried a prescription weight loss drug to help and it did for a bit, but not enough, so I quit. When I found out I was pregnant with my daughter, I weighed 168. I ate healthily and took my vitamins. Much to my dismay, and no matter what or how much I ate, the weight piled on at an alarming rate. The day I went in to deliver, I weighed 232 pounds.
After I delivered, I weighed about 215. And in the months following, as I exclusively pumped and worried about my milk supply, I sincerely hoped that “breastfeeding” would help the pounds fall off. I spent some time working out a bit too with the new Wii system that we received for the holidays, and got as low as 190 about 6 months post partum.
Then life kept happening, and I stopped paying attention. I figured that when I stopped pumping (when my daughter turned 2), my body would let go of any stores it was still hanging onto as a reserve for breastfeeding, and I would spend a good deal of time on getting healthy for the next pregnancy. One week after I quit pumping, I was holding a positive pregnancy test. I weighed 205 pounds.
Today, about a week or so away from delivery, I weigh 243 pounds. So, even though I’ve gained less weight than I did with my daughter, this is the most I’ve ever weighed. And I know it will still go up in this last week or so.
When I think back to high school, and about how at 135, I thought I could stand to lose a few pounds, I want to shake my high school self and let her know that she’s got more than a hundred to gain and lose in the next 15 years and to just enjoy being young with a great metabolism.
So here are my goals:
Mid May 2011: 200
Mid August 2011: 185
End December 2011: 165
End May 2012: 145
Next time I post, I’ll probably have the baby already, and will have my new “starting weight” and I plan to post exercise and menu plans.